Transcript:ALL THE WAY
:five sound :Jack: Top of the morning to ya laddies! My name is Jacksepticeye - Billy? Where are ya, Billy? Okay their dead. My name is Jacksepticeye and welcome back to Guts and Glory. :plays :Jack: Oh, we're gonna have some fun today! I'm feeling - I'm feeling all Jimmied up. Are you ready to go? claps Look alive people. Alright, I'm going to play some community tracks again, I don't know which ones I'm gonna play but I'm gonne figure it out. :Jack: Let's play the constuction site of death! I'mma be my boys here - Oh, ha ha I got my controller all hooked up here. Right we're ready to go. Why is the first thing there? :sound :Jack: What the - no, what the f***? :Jack: Maybe I go down here and not up across that, we'll just go with it for now. Go with it now. :music plays :Jack: Okay but it is not Wednesday - oh easy does it, easy does it , that's not good. :Jack: Ah ah ah ah ahhah sings This is how we do it. You have an arrow stuck in ya dad, but that's fine, you gotta get a few arrows stuck in you before you accomplish what you want in life, I make a lot of these f***ing analogies don't I? Oh God, oh s*** oh s*** oh no! MY BOYS! :Jack: Go go go go go go go, those are saw blades- :boink :Jack: Ohhhhh ohhhh God Mama, oh Mama June. Ooh that's not gonna wash out. :Jack: Ah, It's the fricking cannon balls that are the problem - no it was the mines. :Jack: Oh mother of Jesus- noise Okay, that's a part of me, that's the part you put in the casserole, that's what makes a dish a meaty home cooked treat- there's my bike! laughs :Jack: Alright, alright, take it easy take it easy. What the f***? :splat :Jack: Urgh! :Jack: Slow it on down. Everyone - everyone's rushing through life trying to get where they wanna go, slow it on down every now and then. Just come on. Don't go losing your head! :drumbeat sound :Jack: I got it, I got it no problem. Billy? Where are ya Billy? :Jack: Ohhhhhh f*******- :Jack: Speed is key, I never doubted it for a second. F***! Speed is key, but also eysight. Look alive! :Jack: BAAAAAH! :Jack: Where am I? NOOOOO! :Jack: Dodge and weave, dodge and weave, that's- that's how we're gonna do it dodge and weave, f***ing nailing it! Nailing it! Yeeees- ouch, Jesus holy God, am I still alive? I think- I think I look alive, this is what I look like in bed- oh Jesus. :Jack: Go go go, go go go - :sound :Jack: OH NOOOO! I didn't wanna go to space today, Mommy. :Jack: Keep your head down, keep your head down and fly four yes, that's OK. Oh OH- :splat :Jack: Oh God! Oh is that PG? Is that family friendly? Not in my Christian Minecraft server. :Jack: Go my boys, go m- :sound :Jack: Oh for f***'s sake, every time I restart now. Ooooh, okay. Okay just stay still for a second, there you go, there you go, now go- :ding :Jack: These f***ing balls of mine! :Jack: chuckles Oh s*** my boy. How am I supposed to pass this? I'm getting hit as soon as I start - NOOOOO! :Jack: There we go, there we go, yes, yes! The finish it is right there - NO! Son of a tarantula censored :Jack: Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh YES! That's okay, that's okay I didn't need to win- well I needed to win but I didn't need to be- YES! :music fades :Jack: This one is called 'guts and glory championships.' And you know I'm sticking with my boys Billy and Bobby again. There was a man right there. Welcome, I call this one the gyroscopically stable dad. :plays :Jack: There was a man on the right hand side over there. Is this America's Ninja Warrior? Is that what this is? Am I doing it? I feel like I'm doing it. This is - this - this is absolutely doing it... :sounds :Jack: That is not. Sadly I don't have the healing factor of Deadpool to be able to come back from this. :Jack: Okay, I need some f***ing speed to get out over this thing. Oh, we're still alive! We're not going in the right direction though. Life is all about moving forward, forward momentum. :sounds :Jack: Well that's just bad luck. :Jack: ERGH! YES! Uh oh, uh oh- :splat :Jack: Is that - is that right up main street? Is that right in my a**? :Jack: Here we go, here we go. sings Here we go now, here we go now. Ohhh yes. No no no no don't you dare. Cheeeck poooint. That's one for me. That's one in the bank for good ol' Jacko. Alright keep it moving forward though, don't be a little b****. :noises :Jack: What the-? OH! sings Defying gravity. Oh oh oh oh, yes my boys. You're missing an arm but you know what? You'll make up for it in victory. Look how f***ing bada**- BILLY NO! My boy. Ah f*** it I never needed him anyway- DAMNNIT! :Jack: Oh good to have you back Billy, I missed you. Damnit. Billy I missed you like a hole in my face. :Jack: Okay, don't hit those. Nice, 'cause I have boy balancing powers now - oh s***! WOO HOOO! Oh he's an exgamo - HOLY F***! Oh t***ies, t***ies. These t***ies. That was going so well. :shrieks in pain :sucks air through teeth :tone sounds :Jack: Over gumdrop forest, down lollipop lane. Okay get out over the hump, the hump is the hardest part. :Jack: Oh God I'm part of the railing now. I don't wanna be part of a railing! I'm a real boy! Uh oh uh oh uh oh, this is very bad, this is not good. You know when I said I take my son on a fun Sunday bike ride? I did not mean this. :Jack: Let's ride off into the Himalayas. Here we go my son, I thought I show you the world. You're not holding on very well though. Are you holding on? Bikes are dangerous you better be holding on. :Jack: Here we go, here we go, perfect. Oh God, oh I'm so dead. Oh oh oh, NOOOO! What goes around comes around! What comes on the ground is bits of your body parts. :Jack: F*** me. :Jack: You know if I can get past two levels in lickety split fashion that'd be fantastic. I would love that. Oh oh go go YEAH HEH! All I have to do is REALLY WANT IT! Ooh ho ho. :Jack: announcer voice Watch this one Tom he's going up into the air, oh he's got it and he sticks the landing. That's a ten from the judges Tom, they really like what Jack is putting down. But can he go past the big ol' balls of steel? He can he doesn't even see them- Oh, his son has been hit! The bicycle is all off balance now, but he's gonna make it for his boy he can make it- :sounds :Jack: voice That was a joke, a prank he can't! :Jack: sings Me and my son together for ever, we can accomplish anything even bad weather. :sounds :Jack: There we... go. :Jack: I got this you just gotta really want it! Oh and I want it, I want it like a big ol' custard pipe. Not even slowing down, not even slowing down. See? Didn't even slow down once. Victory! Da-dah! :Jack: No slow downs. No slow downs please. YEAH BABY! :sound :Jack: Bum-ba, now go out there and be the people that you always wanted to be. :Jack: Oh my God there's spikefalls. Spikefalls yes, the dream of the spikefalls is still alive. Who are we gonna do it with? Has to be Billy and Bobby. Or "John and Jimmy" as they call it. We all know it's Billy and Bobby. Alright, we can do these spikefalls. I wish I had Steve, I miss Steve. Oh sweet mother of Jesus, oh God. :cries out :Jack: inhales Oh no! You can make it though, I believe in you! Go GO! Oh, so close to the finish line I can taste it. Oh hey bicycle. :Jack: Alright we're thinking about it all wrong, because we all know SPEED IS KEY! Yes! Fly my boy, fly, that's - that's actually a little too far, oh no, oh no. inhales Sons of BI- :Jack: I got the secret. The secret is centripedal force. Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, OH NO! So close, so close my bike through gritted teeth My bike didn't even make it! :Jack: Just f***ing goooo! Yes, yes, yes, fall out - oh no. Fallout Boy, oh no, oh Christ. :Jack: Haven't tried one of these boys, oh there's a fricking tunnel here. Oh that's - that's very bad chuckles That's very bad. :screams :Jack: That's so bad. :Jack: We're using one of these, this is it. I can feel this one, oh this is definitely it. That's a good trajectory. No, no- :splat :Jack: COME ON! :Jack: It's never enough for you, is it? You always want more. At least make it. At least just fall into the win, fall into the win zone so I can tell my friends how great I am. You suuuck. :Jack: That is literally as fast as you can pedal. Is that still not gonna make it? Oh oh oh oh... YEEEAAAH! I mean bits of you are everywhere, like all over the shop. Everybody is grimacing in pain and horror fingers But at least you got that medal around your neck. Or at least what's left of it. :Jack: 'K, well that does it for this video of Guts and Glory. God, I like this game. This is so much fun. It gives back old Happy Wheels vibes. And you can just blow people up all you want. It's hilarious. And there's a lot of great levels in it as well, the community have been making some really decent levels so I'm gonna try and plow through a bunch more of those and see what it has to offer. But for now thank you guys so much for watching this video. If you liked it, punch that like button in the face, like a boss! And, high fives all round! Wapoosh! Wapoosh! But thank you guys and I will see all you dudes, in the next videooo! :music plays :Jack: Do do do do DO DO! Category:Transcripts Category:Guts and Glory